Note: This is not to be taken seriously, and is only for fun.
Originally, I posted an entry on Sporting News for a SN User Blog Card. But I wanted to revise it to fit the theme for this blog. And the new movie The Social Network gave me this idea, too.
David Funk
12345 Friend Requests Avenue
High Point, NC
Dear David Funk,
You have earned this pre-approved offer for a user charge card from our staff here at Facebook. There is no annual fee and you have a 0% FUR(Facebook User Rate) on any friend invitation transfers from other sites. Just give us a call at 1-800-(yeah, you know you would dial it if posted!) or complete this form below to request your free user blog card today!
Facebook Entry Line of up to 500 friends and No Annual Fee
You can use your charge card to entertain and "purchase" friends to add to your friend's list at any place in association and/or affiliation with Facebook. Purchase status updates, wall posts, gaming, and more. Plus, you get to pick the status updates, applications and games you want on the new card.
Take advantage of this great offer with 0% FUR right now by transferring your higher-rated friend invitations, status updates, gaming requests, wall posts/replies, photo albums, and event notifications to your brand new Facebook Charge Card today to avoid future fees. In addition to being a platinum Facebook member, you will get free access to Networked Blogs or any other application from the Facebook Staff as well as money-saving discounts, and access to your overall .
*0% FUR applies to friend invitation transfers now. Please see reverse side for information about this pre-approved offer, rates, and applicable blog entry transfer fees.
Reverse Side
Pre-approved means that you received this offer because a preliminary review of your status history from the Facebook staff showed that you meet our requirements for a Facebook Charge Card. The issuer of your Facebook Charge Card will review your status history, friendships, photo albums, likes/unlikes, wall posts, and all other information and activity that you provide to ensure that you meet all of our requirements when you respond to the offer. If you meet these requirements, you will receive a Facebook Charge Card with a friend's list limit of 500, but no less than 200, and the rates below. Your friend's list line will be determined by your status history and profile at the time we open your account. If you do not meet these requirements, we may not extend the entry limit for you.
FUR: 0% Fixed
Other FURs:
Blog Entry Transfer FUR: 0% through the first six months
Cash Advance FUR: 0% for the first six months
Default FUR*: Up to the Prime User Rate or reply percentage, whichever is greater.
Your FUR may vary
Purchase FUR: 0% for six months(16.99 thereafter) or the Prime User Rate whichever is greater.
Balance Transfer FUR: 0% for six months(16.99 thereafter) or the Prime User Rate whichever is greater.
Grace period for all purchases: At least 30 days if the New Balance on the card is paid in full by the due date.
Minimum finance charge: 0.5%
Cash advance fee: 1% of the advance
Entry Balance Transfer fee: 1% of the entry balance transfer
Late fee: $5 if balance is less than $100; $10 if balance is greater than $100
$50 if you exceed your friends list limit at any time during the billing period.
Earn cash and more friends to purchase when you receive the qualifying number of replies to your status update(s) or wall posts. Credit will be issued for those who qualify at the conclusion of the pay period. Earn up to 10% back on replies and/or likes to your status updates.
We may change the FURs, fees, and other terms of your account at any time in accordance with applicable and state law and the Account Agreement, which will be sent to you when the account is opened.
*Each time you default on this or any other Facebook account because you fail to make at least the minimum payment when due, exceed your friend's list limit, make a dishonorable payment on your account, or you are reported as delinquent on an account with any other creditor, we may raise the FUR to the maximum Default FUR.
Cash line: 25% of your total friend's list line that you earn on can be used for cash.
Additional payment information: Payments will be applied first to finance charges and fees, then to the Friend's List Limit Category with the lowest FUR until the Balance is paid, then it will go to the Friend's List Limit Category with the next lowest FUR until the FLLC is paid in full.
By submitting your application, you acknowledge and agree that:
1. You are at least 18 years old.
2. All information you provide is accurate and complete.
3. Your account will be used only for professional Facebooking and not for any household purposes.
4. We may check your status history and any information you provide.
5. We reserve the right to change the terms of your account.
6. We obtained a pre-qualifying Facebook status history report from a qualifying agency.
7. We may request Facebook history reports in connection with this application and to review your account.
Upon request, we will tell you if we obtained status history reports and the name and address of the agency that provided those reports. We may report information about your account(including any second Facebook cardholder's name) to status history bureaus. Status updates, missed payments, exceeding the friend's list limit, or other defaults may be reflected in your blog history report. When you use the card, you agree to be bound by the Account Agreement. This account may not be available to you if you already have a Facebook Charge Card with us or have applied within the last 90 days. This offer is not transferable.
Important information about procedures for opening a new account: To help the government fight the funding of the trolls, hackers who post viruses via YouTube videos, anonymous abusers, drama-created posters, and pests, federal law requires that all financial institutions obtain, verify, and record information that identifies each person who opens an account. What this means for you: When you open an account, we will ask for your name, address, date of birth, Facebook ID, and other information that will allow us to identify you.
If you do not want future card offers mailed to you from Facebook, you may inform them in writing by sending your name and address to Facebook Headquarters. Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for this request to take place.
So call us at 1-800-(You know you'll dial it if it is posted) or you can fill out this application:
Name:
Address:
Home Phone:
Do you have a Facebook account? Y or N?
Employment:
Please send a second card for this account at no extra charge to:
___________________________________
Signature
This form is non-transferable and must be signed by the person to whom it is addressed. I certify that I am at least 18 years old, and have read the terms and conditions on the front and back of the letter.
Offer expires on October 31, 2010 and will not be offered to you again.
Blog Entry Transfer Request:
1. Account Number
Name of Facebook Friend's List Lender
Amount to be Paid and Transferred
So return your Pre-Approved Reply Form Today! Operators are standing by!
Facebook Charge Card
The End
I'm strongly considering this great offer, and I think I'll sign it. I have to find out how much my entry limit will be. Would you do one of the following:
1. Sign for a new card?
2. Not bother applying because you will not qualify for a card?
3. Or tell a friend in the community about this amazing offer?
I hope you enjoyed this, and that I get approved to use my card! For those who already received the card, pay attention to your friend's list limit! LOL!
