New Blogging Laws and Terms

Note: This is not to be taken seriously, and is only for humor...or attempted humor by me for some of you.

I'm going to suggest that they come with a Blogging and Posting License for you to pass before becoming legal to post. There are learner's permits for those bloggers under the age of 18, and with parental consent. You can purchase insurance for your blog, and a number of factors for the site you have as well as past blogging history effects your rate.

You can also have your Blogging and Posting License revoked for offenses should you break any. An approved blogger or poster will conduct testing which they'll determine if you've passed or failed to gain a Blogging or Posting License.

Here are the list of blogging offenses and the punishment/penalties for each are.

BUI(Blogging Under Influence) & BWI(Blogging While Intoxicated): At random, you'll be asked to submit an Entrylyzer Test which will cause an immediate suspension of your license if it returns positive. So it is wise not to slur your writing or make any kind of obscene remarks to possibly subject you to testing. If you're drinking, you should get a designated blogger to write for you.

Aggressive Blogging: This is when someone misbehaves on their own blog with constant entries which can lead to more serious offenses. They maybe intending to harm other bloggers on purpose, too. Also, this could mean that the person takes what someone said personally, and aggressively posts about numerous times in row.

Blog Rage: This is an extreme case of aggressive blogging which can cause accidents with bloggers causing your connection to crash or go unresponsive. Leaving rude remarks or gestures, following too closely, purposely cutting off or preventing other people from commenting, and verbal and physical threats in your entries are signs of blog rage.

Blog Speed Limit: This is the maximum speed allowed for blogs around the world. Depending on what country you blog in, this is variable. This is defined as when you're accelerating the number of entries that you should be posting in any given hour and how many grammatical mistakes exist, too. If you have many entries in an hour while having too many writing mistakes, it could give you a ticket if caught. Some countries will allow a 1-2 maximum per hour while some have more.

Hit-and-run or drive by posting: This is when a poster or blogger makes a comment, and then leaves immediately thereafter. Most of the time, the post has nothing to do with the topic at hand and can in an insulting or attacking manner. Actually, this is a real term.

Blogular blogicide: This is intentionally killing off another blog with your own by anonymous or known personal attacks or insults.

If any of the laws are broken, you're subject to suspension of your Blogging or Posting License for a determined amount of time. Or it could be completely revoked in extreme cases as well as an expensive rise in blogging insurance.

Here are some violent posting and blogging crimes:

Bloguse: An intent to harm physically or mentally on a blogger(s) or blog(s).

Blogsault: This is when someone forcefully engages commenters into abusive activity without their consent.

Blogattery: This is unlawful posts of violence by continuous force and posting at someone in an offensive manner.

Blogamage: To damage someone's blog with making it impossible for the owner to access or to purposely delete without consent.

Bloggery: To purposely or forcefully take away a blog from someone by invoking fear or intimidation with either verbal abuse or with the threat of weapons.

Blognapping: To take away a person's blog against their will. This is sometimes done for a ransom or bigger crime for the person(s) committing it.

Blogslaughter: This is deliberately killing off another's blog by making it only accessible to himself.

Blurder: This is deliberately killing off another's blog by completely deleting it forever.

Blogssination: Is the targeted killing off of a public blog.

Serial bloggings: This is a string of killing off blogs by the same person or group.

Blogicide: This is intentionally killing off your own blog by deletion.

Negligent blogicide: This is when a person allows another blog or blogger to be deleted while it is being taken out.

Contract bloggings: This is when a private contractor or government official hires another to take out a blog or blogger.

Bloglifting: This is when elements, entries, or other property is stolen from a blogger(s) or blog(s).

Blogbreaking: This is when a person breaks into a blog after being banned in order to commit an offense. Most of the time, this is stealing of some sort.

Blogotage: This is when a person not owning a site they're writing at either obstructs, destructs, or manipulates to weaken the owner's blog. Many times, the person destroys the owner's Google Ranking or traffic ranking in some form.

Blog of Passion: This is when crime is committed against a known blogger(s) or blog(s) in which blogsault or blurder is used on another because of jealousy or possible heartbreak. The majority of the time, this can be caused by the removal of friends, links, or blogs that the accused person retaliates with blogsault or blurder.

Blogjury: This is when a blogger or blog deliberately lies under oath, either verbally or written, when in a court hearing that affects the outcome of a blogger crime.

If convicted of any of the offenses, the blogger(s) or blog(s) will be subject to registering as a Posting Offender. This means that a logo identifying the Posting Offender will appear everywhere on the internet. They must declare themselves a Posting Offender on every site they sign up on. On a blog, the logo must appear on the first break of the page so that readers can know immediately upon visiting a registered Posting Offender's site or page.

These are the punishments you can receive for any of the crimes mentioned here should it be deemed necessary:

Blogecution: This is the execution of a blogger or blog which permanently deprives someone of blogging, posting, or commenting anywhere on the internet forever.

Virus injection: Injecting a blog with a virus that kills it off completely. Most of the time, this is done after a serious blog offense is committed by the blog or blogger receiving the virus.

Blog chamber: This is when a blogger or blog is put in a sealed chamber filled with viruses that destroy it or files completely in a slow manner.

Bloggings squad: This is where bloggers freely fire at the guilty blogger(s) or blog(s) with comments and/or insults that aren't necessarily appropriate before the accuser is put off the internet for good.

Blogament: This is where another blogger written in on a document to manage his or her blog upon death of the owner.

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!

Posted in: blog, blogger, blogs, laws

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