Depot Heavies Volume 2: Image Game

OK, some of you maybe wondering what the heck the title is all about. Well, I'm playing along with the Image Game that BEEZE tagged me for who was tagged by Charli Henley. Here are their entries:

Charli Henley's Image Game
BEEZE's Image Game

Here are the rules....
"The rules ask that you go to the fourth file in your computer's picture folder and select the fourth picture. Then post that picture and explain it. You then tag four other bloggers and ask that they do the same."

OK, so what is Depot Heavies? Well, this where I talk about my days working at the two Office Depot stores here in North Carolina as well as in Pennsylvania. So because BEEZE tagged me, you're getting two entries for the price of one. That fourth photo is a banner that was created for me by Lester's Legends on my old BWE site.

In case anyone wants to know, BWE stands for Blog Wrestling Entertainment. And contrary to some people's opinion, the origin of the fictional brand of wrestling started at Office Depot. Now do you guys feel lucky?

It was about seven years ago where I worked at the High Point, North Carolina Office Depot store. Not long after I started, I became friends with Sabre Blade(he ask that I not reveal his name here). He was a huge wrestling fan just like me, and that's when it all began. He could do a perfect Stone Cold Steve Austin imitation that would have you laughing all day long!

Soon after a change in store management(which I'll cover in a future post), Sabre and I began to copy wrestlers from the past and in the present throughout the store. Soon after that, my nickname in the store was "The Funk". It was a direct parody of the The Rock. Seldom if ever did anyone call me by David or Dave in the store from that point on.

Then one day at the surprise of everyone, my friend Lisa paged me over the intercom as "The Funk". I found out that my friend Paul put her up to it. Then she did it a few more times until management said something about. Freakin' management!

Well, Sabre then referred to me as "The Most Electrifying Man in the Office Supply Industry" which was just like The Rock saying, "The Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment". I would get on the intercom(during working hours mind you) and page someone. But before I did that, I would say, "FINALLY, The Funk has come back to Office Depot". That didn't sit well with management either, but as you can tell from reading up to this point, I didn't care. Neither did Sabre Blade.

Not long after that, John Cena started to gain a huge following in WWE. His gimmick of rapping on other wrestlers got my attention because it was ground-breaking to me. After a period of time, this gave me the idea to rap on others at Office Depot. So I would go around rapping about management that we didn't like or propping others. John Cena's theme music at the time was Basic Thuganomics. Since I have written some raps before on here and Sporting News, I decided to name my blog as a parody to him. So now you know how Basic Bloganomics really came to be.

It didn't take but a few months for us to come up with finishing moves for everyone in the store including those we didn't like. We came up with funny wrestling names, too.

Probably the funniest name we came up with was Sawdust which was a parody of Goldust. Sawdust would come out of the arena, and the image on the screen would read, "2x4 Productions presents Splintered Dreams." I did come up with a PFV name of No Recovery which was meant as a shot at the store manager for not really doing his job. Now that is in BWE Promotions and I came up with the Throwdown name as well.

When I transferred to Pennsylvania, birdbrainz(who you see here from time to time) also came up with one of the funniest names related to wrestling: Bitter Beer Face. That was meant for a cashier that we didn't get along with too well. Also, he came up with The Full Refund finisher that Mo Morrissey now uses for BWE because he runs Mo's Tavern! See, the moves had to be related to Office Depot in some way.

Some other finishers we came up with:
The End Cap(double axhandle smash)
The Red Permanent Marker(DDT from the top rope which leaves a red mark)
The Disconnection(A clothesline with a phone or ethernet cable to the throat with the guy saying, "You've just been DISCONNECTED" and throat-slashing gesture, too)
Cross-cut Shredder(Hit 'em high, hit 'em low from the side tag team move)
Direct Deposit(elbow smash off the top rope)
Instant Rebate(Throwing your opponent over the top rope, then immediately jumping out of the ring onto him before he gets the chance to run away and "mail in" in his match)
Atomic Pallet Jack(Motioning that you're moving the forks up on a pallet jack, then repeated power bombs to your opponent)

So when I came to SN, I wanted to stand out and be different. It was about a year into blogging on there that I came up with Blog Wrestling Entertainment. At first, I had the Uncovered series which talked about wrestling both past and present. Then I used some names we created at Office Depot at the PPV(we call it Pay-For-View) events because of being dared into doing it by a friend. But at first, the events featured athletes from Major League Baseball going at with the Main Event being Pete Rose against Bud Selig in a Ladder Match with a contract for immediate reinstatement hanging above the ring. Rose won the match, but we can dream sometimes, right? Well, this caught on pretty well because it was different. Eventually, we involved members from the community into matches. That is where I came up with names related to SN or the internet in general.....

-D-Plagiarization X is a parody of D-Generation X. The group is comprised of the following: the Copy & Paste Bandit, Serial Plagiarist, Plagiarizer, and the UnOriginals.
-The Thumb Brigade consists of Thumb & Run(T&R) Guy(thanks fragnoli) T&R Girl, and two blog snipers.
-MIDI(Multiple IDentification Incorporated) is a group that somehow creates more IDs during a given match to throw their opponents off. So far, it hasn't worked though.
-WHFB(We Hate Female Bloggers) is a group of male feminist bloggers going around abusing female bloggers.
-Blog Stalker, PM Basher

In 2007, Paul H(wwefreak) helped to start EBW(Extreme Blog Wrestling) which is a brand extension of BWE. Now BWE Throwdown and EBW UnCut are posted along with PFVs.

Now BWE Promotions is on the Basic Bloganomics site. Our next scheduled event is BWE Throwdown! next Thursday live from Mo's Tavern in Boston which is now home of the BWE Heavyweight Champion Mo Morrissey. Barring the construction problems, we should bring you that event. Trust me, if you haven't seen it before, you have no idea what you're in for.

Here's our previous site if you want to catch up on what got us to this point in BWE and EBW: BWE Promotions. The move to Basic Bloganomics happened because of wanting to invest my time into this site and not more than one. Plus, I bought the domain rights to my site, so I'm investing the time into this blog.

So now that Charli and BEEZE have gotten me to open up to my creative insanity, I'm officially putting them in BWE Promotions. I'm giving you downside contracts meaning that if you get hurt in the ring or blogging, you don't get paid! LOL! I hope you two have been staying in good blog shape! I've already got your finishing moves, too(no, I'm not revealing them here).

I do all this in fun, so the wrestling entries are not to be taken seriously even though some are based on real-life or on-line events. I like posting creative humor along with informative articles, so I mix it up to target different audiences.

There were some more funny and engaging moments about Depot Heavies, so I'll cover more of them in future posts.

Here's the first Depot Heavies: Depot Heavies Volume 1

Here are the four people I'm tagging(I hope you haven't been tagged already)....

Mo Morrissey

Fragnoli

Paul H

MadMan

Thanks for viewing, and I hope you enjoyed!

Posted in: Basic Bloganomics, BEEZE, blog, blogger, Charli Henley, Depot Chronicles, fragnoli, Image Game, morrisseyweb, Sporting News, wwefreak

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