The I-Team Christmas Movie!

Setting: Cleveland, Ohio at a bank downtown
(A line of people are shown as they wait to be called)
Bank Teller: Can I help the next person in line?
(One guy begins to come up until gun shots are heard)
(Suddenly, two guys in Santa suits with masks appear)
(They shoot the surveillance cameras)
One guy: Nobody move and no one gets hurt! Now, everyone down on the ground!
(He looks at two bank tellers)
One guy: You two, fill this bag up full of money now!
(Tellers are nervously filling up the bags full of money)
One guy: C'mon, I don't have all day! Move! Move! Move!
Second guy: We only have a couple of minutes!
(Tellers fill the bags full of money)
Second guy: Hey, there's our ride!
One guy: Let's go!
(A van is outside to pick them up)
(The two guys get in the van as they pull away)
End of scene

In 2006, a Blog Writing Commando Unit was sent to prison by the Feds for a writing crime they didn't committ. These men would escape a maximum security message board stockade into the High Point underground. Today still wanted by the Feds and blog snipers, they survive as soldiers of fortune. So if you have problems with blog writing, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire....the I-TEAM!!!!

A-Team theme

The I-Team Christmas Movie!

Cast:
Big Sooners fan as Colonol David Funk: The leader of the I-Team.
Morrisseyweb as Lieutenant "Face" Morrissey: A master of disguises and gathering inside info on anything. He does the same thing when it comes to putting together great blog entries.
Lester's Legends as Sergeant First Class Lester: A computer tech wiz capable of solving any kind of computer trouble and is a specialist in dealing with crime on the internet. A blog writing legend.
Fragnoli as Captain "Frag" Murdock: He's a crazy man, but is an expert pilot on almost any machine, and can help solve any blog problem!
Mojomike as Sergeant B.A. King: BA(Bad Attitude) is an expert in mechanically making any kind of machine from spare parts. He is deafly afraid of planes, but knows how to write great blogs.

Special Guest appearances:
Paul H as himself
The BEEZE as himself
Jack Pot as himself
Robin Banks as herself

Special cameo appearance by Kenny Kumar as himself

Setting: High Point, NC
(Funk is in his office on the phone with a friend)
Funk: Well, it's been one of those times.
(indistinct voice on the phone)
Funk: You should be. I know it's been a tough time of the year for many of us, but some will always complain over the petty things.
(Another call is coming in)
Funk: This has actually been a pretty good holiday season. Hold on, someone else is calling.
(Funk switches lines)
Funk: Hello?
Kenny: Bu Funk! What's up man?
Funk: Kenny! Not much here. Hold on a second. I've got someone on the other line.
(Funk switches back)
Funk: Hey man, that's my friend Kenny on the other line. I'll catch up with you later.
(Funk switches back to talk to Kenny)
Funk: OK, I'm back.
Kenny: Did you see that Bears game last night? That was unreal!
Funk: Yeah, I thought their season was done! How about that weather you're putting up with?
Kenny: Two words for ya: 21 Below!
(Funk laughs)

Setting: Cleveland, Ohio at another bank
(A car pulls up to the ATM machine to withdraw money then leaves)
(A woman just parked her car, and is heading inside the bank)
(All the sudden, gun shots are heard inside as the woman panicks)
Guy: Nobody move and no one gets hurt!
(Three minutes later, the two guys flee the bank in a getaway van with bags of money)
(One guy drops a button outside when leaving)
(The woman outside the bank is never seen by the robbers and she picks up the button)
(The button says, "Fundingmycareerblog.blogspot.com".)
(Police show up minutes later, and the woman gives the button to them)

Setting: Boston, MA
(Face Morrissey is on his phone uploading pictures)
(He's then seen talking about the New England Patriots on the phone)
Face: Oh yeah. Definitely. This has been one crazy year in the NFL. I'm home now, and I'm going to check the internet.
(Face hangs up the phone to check the internet)
Face: Nice entry by Frag here about the Greatest Show ever.
(Face continues to check around the blogs)
(One of his kids is calling for him)
Face: OK, I'll be there in a minute!
(Face suddenly comes across an article that talks about bank robberies in Cleveland on Google)
Face: You've got to be kidding me. Who in the world leaves a button for a blog site after robbing a bank?
(Face leaves to go to the living room with his kid)
(Face's cell phone rings)
Face: Hello?
Funk: Hey Mo.
Face: I'm so glad you called because I wanted to tell you Happy Holidays.
Funk: Thanks Mo. But unfortunately, there's a problem.
Face: Oh wait, don't tell me. It isn't about that bank robbery in Cleveland, is it?
Funk: Bank robbery? Heck, they hit three different ones since last Friday. I hate to have to do this during this time of year, but we're going to have to get the gang to Cleveland to bring these jerks down. I'm leaving out now.
(Face's kids in the background can be heard)
Face: Well, I'm on my way.
Funk: OK, I'm just not sure how to tell B.A. King that he needs to get on a plane to meet us there now!

Two hours later in Cleveland, OH
(Lester is seen coming off his plane)
(He's seen walking inside to get his luggage)
(Two officers immediately detain him upon arrival)
(Funk, Frag, and Face walk up as they see Lester being handcuffed)
Frag: What the heck is this about?
Officers: Freeze! You're all under arrest!

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Setting: Cleveland, OH in a jail cell
(The I-Team minus B.A. King is sitting in a jail cell)
Funk: Can someone tell me what this is about?
Mo: I can't believe that I'm sitting in jail during the holidays.
Frag: This is a bunch of crap!

Next Setting: Cleveland, OH at another bank
(The BEEZE is walking towards the bank when he sees two guys with weapons approaching)
(The BEEZE calls the police)
(The bank robbers pull the same routine, but get held up when the van is not there)
(Cops come in, and the robbers retreat inside)
(Officer is on a megaphone)
Officer: The building is surrounded. There's no way out. Come out with your hands up.
Guy: I'm not coming out until you meet my demands.

Setting: Cleveland, OH in the jail cell
(The officer at the desk gets a phone call)
Officer: Really? This is the fourth attempt by those guys. They're surrounded.
Funk(whispering): Guys, I think they just hit another back before the cops showed up.
Lester(whispering): We have to get out of here!
(Suddenly FBI agents walk into the police station)
Officer: Is there something I can help you out with?
FBI agent: Yes, we're with the FBI. I understand you caught a group of guys at the airport.
Officer: Yes, they're right over there.
(FBI agents walk towards the cell)
FBI agent: Well, if it isn't the I-Team. I'm surprised you were so easily caught.
Funk: So what brings you down here?
FBI agent: Well, there's been a string of robberies going on in Cleveland, and we think this happened in other cities before.
Funk: Really?
FBI agent: We have looked at your records, and we want to make a deal.
Funk: Oh jeez.
FBI agent: We think you guys were setup in 2006, but we don't have enough proof of the imposters who did it yet. But we're in a bind.
Funk: How so?
FBI agent: We've been on the trail of these robbers for sometime, and we understand that you guys have been helping bloggers out in simular circumstances such as this one. We want to hire you to put these bandits away for good.
Funk: You've been chasing around for over two years, and now you want our help to take care of something that you can't?
FBI agent: That's fine. You can sit in the jail cell then.
Face: I'm not going to continue sitting around!
FBI agent: I think you better listen to him.
Funk: OK, but only on one condition.
FBI agent: What's that?
Funk: We want a full pardon on what happened before.
FBI agent: Well.....
Funk: Look, you know darn well we didn't committ those writing crimes! Second of all, we've helped bloggers before, so it's not like we're hiding that!
(FBI agent looks at the other agents)
FBI agent: OK, we'll give you guys a pardon if you put an end to this once in for all. Guards, let these guys out.

Setting: A rental van that Frag is driving.
Funk: Damn, where's B.A. King? I can't reach him on my cell phone!
Frag: Well, we have to get to that bank now!

Setting: Just outside Cleveland, OH
(Robin Banks and Jack Pot are seen at their home)
Robin: We finally are able to fund our blog site and our son's one, too.
Jack Pot: Yes, this is something else.
(Phone rings)
(Robin picks it up)
Robin: What?? Are you kidding me? You better not let them know that!
(Robin hangs up)
Jack: What's going on?
Robin: We have a big problem now!

Setting: Cleveland, OH at the bank
(The I-Team has just arrived)
(The getaway van full of friends of the robbers pulls up in the back of the bank)
(Officers let them inside the bank as part of the robber's demands)
Funk: Who's in charge?
(An officer comes over)
Officer: I am. Who are you guys and what do you want?
Funk: We're here to stop these guys for good.
Officer: Says who?
(FBI agents walk over towards the officer)
FBI agent: Says us. And we'll be taking over here.

Setting: Cleveland, OH inside the bank
(A mother and son are seen talking)
(One of the robbers tells her to shut up)
Mother: My son is very sick, and needs to get to the hospital for surgery!
Robber: I said shut up! No one's going anywhere!

Setting: Cleveland, OH outside the bank
(FBI agent picks up the megaphone)
FBI agent: OK, we let your guys in, so you need to let some people go!
(FBI agent is waiting)
FBI agent: C'mon, we have given you a demand!
(The leader comes out)
Guy: Where's our way out of here! Once you do that, we'll let everyone go! I need a doctor in here now though.
FBI agent: Is someone hurt?
Guy: No, someone is sick. Get them in here now, and then we'll talk about the hostages!
(Funk looks at the FBI agent)
Funk: We have to get in there now. This can't go on.
(FBI agent looks at the other officers)
FBI agent: OK, this is your turf now. You guys do what you do best and make sure no hostages get hurt!
Funk: Face, get a map of the building to see all the ways we can get in here.
Face: I'm on it.
Funk: Lester, find out what you can about that blog site that was listed on that button. I have a hunch these robberies are being done for the funding of blogs.
Lester: Will do.
Funk: Frag and I are going in on the roof. Frag, let's go!
Frag: Let's end this!

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Setting: Elyria, Ohio at a local retail store
(Paul H is seen working and is now approaching a customer for help)
Paul H: Is there something we can help you with?
(The person turns around, and it's B.A. King)
B.A. King: Yes, fool! I need a new cell phone because the other one I had broke!
Paul H: OK, what kind are you looking for?
B.A. King: I don't care. I need something that works right now because I'm in a hurry here. The I-Team needs me!
Paul H: Woh, woh, woh. Did you say I-Team? Who are you?
B.A. King: B.A. King, fool!
Paul H: No way! You're Mike B.A. King! OMG! How'd you get here!
B.A. King: Long story, and I took a cab because I need a new cell phone! What about the phone, fool!
(Paul is still in shock)
Paul H: Oh, right. Here's one.
B.A. King: That works. Now I was knocked out on a plane, and they landed here. I need to get to Cleveland.
Paul H: Well, I get off in a few minutes, and I'm heading there anyways to visit family.
B.A. King: This is an emergency. The rest of the team doesn't know where I'm at, and banks are being robbed. Activate this phone, and let's go!
(B.A. King turns around to see a customer yelling and threatening an employee)
B.A. King: Hey fool!
Customer: Is this any of your business? Butt out!
(Customer attempts to push B.A. out of the way)
(B.A. then throws him across the store and into the plexiglass in front of the store)
B.A. King: As I was saying, get that phone done and let's go!

Setting: Just outside Cleveland, OH
(Robin Banks and Jack Pot are watching the news)
Robin: Look at this. It's a hostage situation now. Not what we need!
Jack: Don't worry. Those guys will get their way out of it.
Robin: If they trace us here, it's over. Do you hear what I'm saying?
Jack: They won't trace us here. We have that covered.

Next Setting: Cleveland, OH outside the bank
(Face brings a map to Funk and Frag)
Funk: OK, we'll make our way in there.
Lester: I tracked the IP address of that blog site. Man, they must have lots of money with all those ads!
Funk: You and Face go check that out. Take a couple of officers with you.
Lester: OK, but what about you guys?
Funk: We have the map now, so I think we'll be fine. Besides, if they're smooching money from these guys, then they need to be stopped now.
Face: Will do. We're on our way there now.
(The BEEZE appears out of nowhere)
The BEEZE: Perhaps I can be of assistance and give you guys a ride out there.
Face: BEEZE! What are you doing here?
BEEZE: I witnessed those guys going in, and it wasn't long after that the cops showed up. So what are you guys waiting for?
Face: Let's go!

Setting: Cleveland, OH inside the bank
(Doctors finally arrive to check on the sick boy)
Doctor: Yeah, one of his kidneys has failed. He needs medical help now.
Mother: Someone take care of my boy!
Guy: No one's going anywhere!
Lead Guy: What's going on?
Mother: My boy is going to die if he doesn't get to a hospital!
Lead Guy: OK, get him to the hospital.
(Mother is leaving, but is stopped)
Lead Guy: No, not you. Just the boy!

Setting: Cleveland, OH on the roof of the bank
(Funk and Frag make their way to the roof of the bank)
(Frag stays behind while Funk observes the scene)
(Funk proceeds to the door on the roof of the bank)
Funk: OK, this has to be where he goes in at.
(A robber approaches with a gun)
Robber: Over my dead body!

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Setting: Cleveland, OH on the roof of the bank
(Funk has a gun on him by a robber)
Robber: Who was that that you were talking to? Check that out.
(Another robber looks over the edge of the roof)
(Then all the sudden, a hand appears out of nowhere to clip the robber by the feet)
(Frag appears then knocks the robber out with a punch)
(Funk then kicks the gun out of the robber's hand)
(Funk then throws him off the roof where he lands inside a dumpster)
Funk: OK, let's try this again.
(Frag goes inside the door, followed by Funk)

Setting: Just outside Cleveland
(Robin and Jack are in the house with two other robbers who brought them some money)
Jack: Nice. What took you guys so long? We need to get out of here because of what's going on at that bank in Cleveland. We can't take any chances.
Robber: Right. We have our share, so we'll be going.
(A vehicle pulls up)
Jack: Wait. Someone's coming.
(Face and Lester are coming to the door)
(Face knocks on the door)
(Jack answers the door)
Jack: Hey wait, there's a cop!
(Jack attempts to shut the door, but Lester blocks that to get inside the house)
(One robber tries to go out the backdoor until BEEZE tackles and punches him out from out of nowhere)
(The other robber is taken down by Lester)
(Jack tries to escape, but the cops stop him in his own yard)
Face: So this is what you do to fund advertising for your children.
Jack: Why I outta....
(Jack attempts to punch Face, but Face counters with a punch to the gut and kick to the head)
Face: Arrest these guys, and Robin, too! You two are a disgrace, and you better pray that the one kid that your robbers had held inside makes it!
Jack: What?
Lester: Yeah, one kid was dying inside the bank while your heartless robbers were holding hostages!
BEEZE: I'll take you guys back to town. But I just heard about a major accident, so we'll have to take the LONG way around.

Setting: Cleveland, OH inside the bank
(Funk and Frag are inside on top of the bank where they look down at the robbers)
Funk: It looks like about 8-10 of them.
Frag: Yeah, we need to figure out how to get down there to take care of this.
Robber: And I want to figure out how you guys got in here!
(Robbers have guns on them)
(Funk and Frag are taken down to area with the rest of the hostages)

Setting: Cleveland, OH outside the bank
(FBI agent notices a van pull up as they make their way inside the bank)
(FBI agent calls into the bank to talk with the lead robber)
FBI agent: Are you missing two guys from before?
Lead Guy: Well, they must be the two guys that were on the roof or something. Let them in.
(Two guys come in masks because of the cold air)
Robber: Take your masks off.
(They begin to take their masks off, but one begins to sneeze with a cold)
Robber: Oh, it must have been that cold air!
(Finally they take the masks off, and reveal themselves)
(It's B.A. King and Paul H)
(Robber turns around, and is punched by Paul)
(B.A. then grabs another and throws him across the office)
(Frag kicks the gun out a robber's hand and punches him)
(A melee ensues)
(Funk then punches another robber)
(B.A. throws two more robbers down, and Paul tackles and punches another)
(Lead Guy then tries to leave only to be decked with a phone by the mother of the sick child)
(Then Frag and Funk punch Lead Guy out)
Funk: What took you so long B.A.?
B.A.: The plane and my phone, fool!
Funk: Who's that?
B.A.: Are you kidding me? That's Paul Huffaker, fool!
Funk: OMG! wwefreak has helped the I-Team!
(Paul H shakes Frag's hand, too)
Paul: Where's Face Mo and Lester?!
Funk: I hope they caught the bastards who are paying these guys off!
Frag: I'll call Mo to find out.
(Frag calls Face on his cell phone)
Frag: Good news! They got those guys for funding their children's blog ads and hiring these and other robbers for it!
(Funk, Frag, B.A., and Paul H celebrate along with the hostages)

Setting: Cleveland, OH at a local hospital
(Doctors come out to the waiting room)
(Doctor is questioned by the mother)
Mother: Well, is my boy going to make it?
Doctor: He's stabilized right now, but we were able to find a kidney match. He's going to make it.
(The mother is relieved)
Mother: It's a Christmas miracle, and she let's the I-Team know over the phone.

Setting: BEEZE's Fish House in Cleveland
(BEEZE is serving up some dishes for the I-Team)
Funk: Wow, I can't believe this.
Face: Yeah, no kidding. We were arrested, and BEEZE even helped us out.
Lester: We foiled a blogging ad scheme.
Frag: We stopped one of the most notorious teams of robbers.
B.A.: I was held up because of an emergency landing as well coincidentally running into wwefreak as he helped with a new cell phone and getting us here to help out. And he helped foil the crime!
Funk: And one boy got an early Christmas wish. Plus, we're finally going to get full pardons for those writing crimes we didn't committ! Now that is one heck of a Christmas!
(Everyone at the bar celebrates)
(BEEZE is cooking more food, and gives them to-go boxes)
BEEZE: Merry Christmas guys! Now go home and enjoy the holidays!
Funk: Guys, I love it when a plan...err...Christmas plans come together!
(Christmas music plays in the background)

The End

Note: The characters are fictitious, and in no way are portraying what the bloggers and members in this show are like in real-life. Any character names or personalities used in this blog that represent members in real-life is purely coincidental. This was something put together for fun, and I hope you enjoyed. Again, this is a fictional story.

The I-Team: There really is an "I" in team. It's called Mo, Lester, Frag, Mojo, and I!

Promotional consideration paid for by the following:
-Me and everyone of my fans of the I-Team!!!!!!

The I-Team is in conjuction with BSFE productions. The I-Team is a registered trademark.

~(©) Copyright 2008. Property of BSFE Productions. All rights reserved. Any publication or retransmission without the express written consent of the I-Team and its affliates is strictly prohibited.

Happy Holidays from Basic Bloganomics!

Posted in: blog, blogger, blogs, fragnoli, I-team, lester's legends, mojomike, morrisseyweb, movie, Parody

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