Depot Heavies Volume 1

OK, this is the first installment of Depot Heavies. This is where I talk about my days in retail as well as some of the insane things we did. You should find these funny or downright crazy, but that's just how I am and how the people I worked with were. So I'm going to kick things off by talking about maybe the funniest gig we ever pulled off.

I was moving to central PA on a job transfer a few years back, and this was the perfect setup for what became not only redemption, but a clever way to send me off to PA.

It was no secret as to when my last day in the High Point, NC store at Office Depot was, and some of my friends made sure that they got me good one last time before leaving up north. During the second to last week before leaving, the seeds were set for an unbelievable sendoff.

My friend Kyle Taylor arranged for me to meet up with him at his place on Saturday to show me the new WWE Raw game on XBox. I stayed over there for a long time, and then his girlfriend Leona had taken off with their car to go shopping.

Kyle then let me know that his brother was at the bowling alley just a couple of blocks away from his home, and that he needed a ride back home. Since I didn't know what his brother looked like, Kyle came along. Strangely enough, he knew I bowled in leagues in the past, and I just happened to have my bowling bowl in the trunk of my car.

I get inside the place, and waited at the front so that Kyle could locate his brother. In actuality, he was looking to see which friends of mine at OD had showed up for the surprise going-away party that they just threw for me! That's when I first noticed my friend Jeff Beck(no, not the musician) and that's when I knew it was a setup! But that was far from the best part.

About 10-12 of my friends from OD showed up to wish me off because I was moving the next week. We bowled one game if I recall, and then they brought out the cake. I didn't think nothing would top the setup by Kyle, but that was proven wrong when my friend Becky brought the cake out!



In case you're wondering, the person in the picture was the store manager by the name of Barry which was taken by another friend Faith, who showed up for the party, too. He wasn't liked or respected by anyone in the store(and I'm not kidding either), and I admit I was no exception to that.

It was kind of a parting shot of sorts for not only me, but the rest of those who showed up because we all knew that everyone was going to go their seperate ways. In fact, two years after this party, only two people from this party are even with the company now.

I didn't have any of the cake, and to reassure that, my friend Karl punched a hole right on Barry's face in the cake anyway! Karl was one of those hyped-up types, and I still have shots of him licking the cake off his fists after it happened. That was priceless, and seeing how many times people were slipping and sliding while bowling was just too much.

According to what Kyle told me, Becky and Faith setup the part with Barry's face on the cake. Knowing them, I wasn't surprised because they were crazy like Kyle and I. My friend Paul also showed up, and he and Kyle planned this out so well.

Even my assistant manager Craig showed up right before some of us were set to leave. He thought the whole thing was funny, and I remember giving him a hard time that he knew the whole time!

I was flattered and caught off guard with this surprise party, but it showed how much those guys liked and respected me there.

So to Kyle, Paul, Karl, Becky, Faith, Lisa, Jeff, Craig, and the rest of those who showed, thanks for that. It's still a moment that is etched in my mind. Again, I thought the surprise by Kyle was enough, but that was only the beginning of what was a crazy night.

Retail can be stressful especially during the holidays, but we always had our fun in the High Point store. When I moved to PA, I worked with some more crazy guys, so I fit in well there. Yes, we had our fun there, too. Between both stores, there was enough memories to where I felt compelled to start this series. Trust me, there were plenty of moments to talk about.

So what in the "Funk" would you do without "The Funk"? I hope you enjoyed, and thanks for reading!

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