Blog Wars Episode IV: Blogger's Hope

This was originally posted on Sporting News on May 12, 2007. Also, this was edited and character changes were made, too. This is my last post for 2008, so Happy New Year to you all!

Blog Wars Episode IV: Blogger's Hope

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.....

It is a period of civil war in the Blogging Universe. The Members Alliance spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first battle against the evil Troll Empire. During the battle, Member spies managed to steal secret plans of the Empire's ultimate weapon, The Thumb Down Star, an armored space station with enough power to thumb down an entire planet of bloggers.

Pursued by the Troll Empire's sinister agents, Princess Goddess races home aboard a starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the entire Blogging Universe ......

Scene: A total eclipse emerges as the planet of Blogtooine is revealed
(Two ships are battling with countless lasers being fired)

Scene: Imperial-Interior Blogade Runner
(The ship that 3Santinio and R2 are on has an explosion that rocks their ship)
3Santinio: Did you hear that?
(Their starship is now being controlled by the Thumb Down Star)
3Santinio: They have shut down the main reactor! We are doomed!
(The starship opens up, but 3Santinio and R2 happen to not suffer any harm)
(Darth Troller makes his way down the main passageway)
(His face is obscured with a black mask and grotesque breath mask and he stands out with white trollship troopers flocking him)
(Darth Troller grabs a Members Alliance Officer by the neck)
Trollship Officer: The TDS plans are not in the main computer.
Darth Troller: Where are those plans you intercepted?
(Darth Troller then lifts the officer up off his feet)
Member Alliance Officer: We intercepted no plans. We are here on a diplomatic mission.
Darth Troller: Where is the Ambassador?
(The Alliance Officer refuses to speak, and Darth Troller kills him before throwing his body up against a wall)
Darth Troller: Commander, tear this ship apart until you've found those plans, and bring me the passengers alive!
(The Trollship Troopers scurry out to find the plans and passengers)

Scene: Blogtooine Desert Wasteland
(Freak Blogtalker is standing on a rock and motions for a robot to follow him)
Freak: Hurry up! Come with me! What are you waiting for?! Get it in gear! I need my blog editted!
(The robot scoots around in a circle, then explodes)
(Freak throws his arms up in the air in disgust)

Scene: The Thumb Down Star
(Princess Goddess happens to get secret information to the R2 Unit)
3Santinio: Where have you been?
(R2 is speaking in a technical language)
3Santinio: Secret Mission? Plans? What plans?
(3Santinio and R2 are heading for their blogade runner to take them home)
Trollship Trooper: Wait! There's one!
(Princess Goddess is firing at the Trollship Troopers)
(The Trollship Troopers use a stun mechanism to knockout the Princess)
Trollship Trooper: She will be alright. Inform Lord Troller that we have a prisoner!

Scene shifts to 3Santinio and R2 on the blogade runner......
3Santinio: I'm going to regret this!
(3Santinio and R2 are launched away from the Thumb Down Star)
Trollship Trooper: There goes another one!
TDS Captain: Hold your fire! There are no life forms leaving! It must have short-circuited!

Scene: Blogtooine Desert Wasteland
(Freak is riding his Blogspeeder through town which allows him to blog at the speed of light while riding)
(Freak then returns home and notices a familar friend)
Freak: Madman?! How are you?! I didn't know you were back. When did you get in?
Madman: Just now. I wanted to surprise you.
(Madman laughs)
Freak: The Blog Academy didn't change you much. Did you get a commission?
(Madman is hesitant to answer)
Madman: Of course I got it.
Freak: I almost forgot. There is a battle going on out there.
(Freak looks through his binoculars to see the battle in the sky)
Freak: There they are!
(Madman takes the binoculars)
Madman: That isn't a fight! They are sitting there!
Freak: They were fighting earlier!
Madman: The Member's Alliance is a long way from here. This planet has nothing on it.
(Freak seems to agree, but is unsure about all of it)

Scene: Interior Blogade Runner Hallway - TDS
(Princess Goddess is being escorted down the hall by armored Trollship Troopers)
(Darth Troller is now in view and stares down the Princess, but the Princess doesn't budge)
Goddess: I should have known it was you, Lord Troller. The Imperial Bloggers Senate will not stand for this....
Darth Troller: Don't play games with me, Your Highness. You weren't on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Alliance spies. I want to know what you did with those plans they sent you.
Goddess: I don't know what you are talking about. I am here on a diplomatic mission.....
Darth Troller: You are part of the Member's Alliance, and a traitor! Take her away!
(Goddess is marched down the hallway by the Trollship Troopers)
(A TDS Commander turns towards Troller)
Commander: Holding her could be dangerous. If word gets out, it could generate sympathy to the Member's Alliance to the Imperial Bloggers Senate.
Darth Troller: I have traced the Alliance spies to her. Now she is my only link to find their secret base!
Commander: She will die before she tells you anything.
Darth Troller: Leave that to me. Send a distress signal to let the senate know that all aboard were killed.
(Another Commander is approaching Troller)
Second Commander: Lord Troller, the plans are not on this ship! No transmissions were made. A blogade runner was jettisoned during the fighting, but no life forms were found.
Darth Troller: She must have hid the plans in the escape runner! Send a detachment to retrieve them. See to it personally, Commander.
Second Commander: Yes sir.
(A blogade runner comes over the Blogtooine planet)

Scene: Blogtooine Dessert
(3Santinio and R2's blogade runner lands on the planet)
(They kick up dust as the runner is buried in the sand)
(R2 heads off in one direction as 3Santinio heads off in another)
3Santinio: Where are you going?
(R2 makes some computer noises)
3Santinio: Well, I'm not going that way.
(3Santinio is too stubborn and goes the opposite way of R2)
3Santinio: There are no settlements that way.
(R2 makes more beeping sounds)
3Santinio: Don't get technical with me! What mission are you talking about?
(R2's reply is rude, and they now are off in opposite directions)
(3Santinio is heading into the hot part of the dessert as dunes appear to go for miles)
3Santinio: It is that R2's fault!
3Santinio sees a blogger's transport ship and yells for help)

Scene: Blogtooine Entryhead settlement
(Freak is telling a tale about his blog missions while him and Madman are drinking a brew)
Madman: You should take it easy with those ships, Freak. One day, you could be a statistic out there.
Freak: Look who is talking. You sound like my relatives now. You've gotten soft out here....
Madman: I missed you kid.
(Madman then looks to inform Freak of a secret)
Madman: I wanted to let you know that I made some friends at the Blog Academy, and that I'm going to join the Member's Alliance.
(Freak looks shocked)
Freak: Are you kidding?! How?!
Madman: Quiet down, will you?
Freak: Sorry.
Madman: There are a couple of friends that will help me make contact with them.
Freak: You are crazy!
Madman: I know it is a long-shot. I am not waiting on the Troll Empire to draft me. The Alliance is spreading, and I want to join them.
Freak: And I am stuck here.
Madman: You can't join next term?
Freak: No, I had to cancel my blog subscription last month. Besides, I can't leave my relatives.
Madman: I feel for you, Freak. You're going to have to learn what is important or what seems to be more important. I have to leave in the morning.
Freak: Well, I will see you. Take care, Madman.

Scene: Blogtooine Canyon
Both R2 and 3Santinio are captured by the Thumbwas. They are then transported to hideout by these creatures. Both robots reunite in the holding area not knowing that they are going to amongst other robots for sale. Meanwhile, the Trollship Troopers that were sent to Blogtooine have discovered the blogade runner that R2 and 3Santinio were in. They discovered that robots were indeed leaving the blogade runner. They are now on the hunt after them. After much debate, the robots are sold to Freak's relatives after one of the robots that they originally were going to buy, exploded on them. They buy R2 and 3Santinio after that.

Scene: Blogtooine Entryhead Settlement
Freak is frustrated by the fact of having to stay on the planet while Madman is leaving. He is trying to fix the robots after they have an abundance of sand on them. Upon doing so, he finds out that R2 has a picture of Princess Goddess sending a message......
Princess Goddess(From R2 unit): Help us Frag Kenobi. You're my only hope.
Freak: What's this?
(3Santinio is saying that the message is a malfunction as the message is repeated over and over)
Freak: Who is she? She's beautiful.
3Santinio: I'm not sure, sir. I think she was a passenger on our last voyage when we found strange blog replies.
Freak: Is there more to the message?
(Freak reaches out to the robot to find out if there is more to the recording)
(R2 doesn't take kindly to it, but then gives in at the insistence of 3Santinio)
3Santinio: He says that he is property of Frag Kenobi. However, he can be eccentric at times.
Freak: I wonder if he means Fragnoli Kenobi.
3Santinio: I beg your pardon, but do you know who he is talking about?
Freak: Well, I don't know of a Frag Kenobi. But Fragnoli Kenobi lives out in the dunes. He is a strange character. I still wonder who she is. She sounds like she is in trouble. I'd better play back the whole thing.
3Santinio: R2 says that you maybe able to play the entire message if you remove a certain bolt from him because it has short-circuited his recording system.
(Freak removes the bolt, but the Princess' image disappears)
(Freak is called away by his relatives)
Freak: Here is the bolt, 3Santinio. See what you can do with him. I will be back.
(Freak goes inside to find out what his relatives want)
3Santinio: You better play back that message for him.
(R2 makes beeping sounds)
3Santinio: No, he doesn't like you.
(R2 makes beeping sounds)
3Santinio: No, I don't like you either.

Scene: Blogtalker's Entryhead home
Freak is trying to get answers from his relatives about R2, and that he belonged to Fragnoli Kenobi. His uncle said that he is a crazy man, and that R2's memory needed to be erased. He then said that he knew both Darth Troller and his father, and that both were dead. Also, his uncle is persuading him to stay at his home for one more season of blogging. Then he said he could join the Blog Fighting Academy the following year. His aunt says he can't stay there forever, and that his uncle will make it up to him as Freak storms out of the home. He goes out to the garage to help the robots and the blog machines that are out there only to find out that R2 has disappeared. He and 3Santinio look around the area to find it. They will not risk going out with the Thumbwas lurking, so they wait until morning to find him.

Scene: Blogtooine Canyon
Freak and 3Santinio are searching for R2 in the canyon. They encounter the Thumbwas which attack Freak and 3Santinio. Then a terrifying sound comes across the canyon which scares the Thumbwas off. It is Fragnoli Kenobi that appears and helps Freak to his feet. They then find that 3Santinio was buried in the sand, and they help to get him out. Then the three go inside Kenobi's dwelling.

Scene: Kenobi's Dwelling
(Freak is repairing the R2 unit while Frag is talking)
Frag: Hey Freak, I have something that your father wanted me to give you when you got older.
(Frag pulls out a light saber)
(Freak then turns it on to see a green glowing light that is about four feet long)
Frag: Now let's see if this unit is fixed now.
(R2 then shows that message from the Princess as Frag and Freak look on with 3Santinio)
Princess Goddess: General Kenobi, years ago you served my father in the Forum Wars. Now he begs you to help him against the Troll Empire. I regret that I am unable to present my father's request to you in person, but my ship has fallen under attack and I am afraid my mission to bring you to Replydaron has failed. I have placed information vital to the survival of the Member's Alliance in this R2 unit. My father will know how to retrieve it. You must see this droid safely to him in Replydaron. This is our most desperate hour. Help me Frag Kenobi, you're my only hope.
(Static comes out of the R2 unit, but the message is completed)
Frag: You must learn the ways of the CI(Creatively Insane) if you are to come with me to Replydaron, Freak.
Freak(laughing): I'm not going to Replydaron! I'm in enough trouble out here as it is!
Frag: I need your help. She needs your help. I am getting too old for this sort of thing.
Freak: I can't get involved! I have work to do! It's not as if I like the Troll Empire, I hate them! But there is nothing I can do!
Frag: That's your uncle talking.
Freak: Oh man, my uncle. How am I going to explain this?
Frag: Learn about the CI, Freak.
Freak: I can take you as far as Entryhead past the canyon.
Frag: You do what you feel is right of course.

Scene: Thumb Down Star Conference Room
Two Commanders are debating over the operational power of the Thumb Down Star. One says they are vulnerable until the TDS is fully operational and also that the Members Alliance is gaining strength. Darth Troller then walks in to join in on the discussion. He says that the original plans that were stored into the R2 unit will be in his possession, thus the Members Alliance will not be able to exploit the weaknesses of the Thumb Down Star.

Scene: Blogtooine Wasteland
Freak, Frag, 3Santinio, and R2 return to the Entryhead home to find it burned down. They also discover that Freak's relatives are dead as a result of the attacks. Freak thinks it was the Thumbwas who burned the blog posts down as their are no remains of any entries. However, on his way back to the Entryhead home, he discovers that some Thumbwas were gunned down. Frag is convinced that the Trollship Troopers are responsible for the damage, and tells Freak there is nothing he could have done. Freak then says that he has nothing left on Blogtooine now that his blog entries are gone. He decides to learn the way of the CI.

Scene: Thumb Down Star Corridor
Princess Goddess is being held in a cell while Trollship Troopers enter. Darth Troller then enters the room with a torture robot that has large hypodermic needle.

Scene: Mo's Tavern
The owner of Mo's Tavern, morrisseyweb is on a space mission and is not on the Blogtooine planet as of now. Freak and Frag tell 3Santinio and R2 to wait outside while they go inside to find a pilot. Frag uses his CI to get past a Trooper at the door as he manipulates his mind. Upon arriving inside, a ugly-looking creature challenges Frag. Frag then pulls out his life saber to quickly take out the creature. As they to find a place to sit down, they notice a tall menacing looking individual by the name of Lewbacca. Lewbacca leads them to a table where a pilot by the name of Guardian Solo is sitting.
Guardian Solo: Guardian Solo. I'm the captain of the Millenium BlogFighter. Lew tells me you are looking for a passage to the Replydaron System.
Frag: Yes, indeed. If it is a fast ship.
Guardian: Fast ship? You've never heard of the Millenium BlogFighter.
Frag: Should I have?
Guardian: It has flown from one side of the galaxy to another in no time. She is fast enough for you. What is the cargo?
Frag: Only passengers. Myself, Freak, the two droids, and no questions asked.
Guardian: Are you in some kind of local trouble?
Frag: Let's just say that we'd like to avoid further entanglements with trolls in the future.
Guardian: Well, that's the trick, isn't it? It's going to cost something extra. Ten thousand in advance.
Freak: Ten thousand? We can buy our own ship for that!
Guardian: Yeah, who is going to fly it! You?
Freak: You bet I could! We don't have to listen to this.
Frag: We don't have much right now. We could pay you two thousand now, plus fifteen when we reach Replydaron.
Guardian: Seventeen, huh? You got yourself a ship. We'll leave when you are ready. Looks like someone is taking interest in your handiwork of taking out that creature earlier.
(Freak and Frag leave as Trollship Troopers look around for answers)
Guardian: Seventeen thousand! This could really save my neck. Get the ship ready, Lew.

Scene: Outside Mo's Tavern
Freak is told by Frag to sell his speeder to afford the trip to Replydaron. Freak agrees, and says that he will not be coming back to Blogtooine again.

Scene: Mo's Tavern
As Guardian Solo is about to leave, a person points a gun at his side. The person is football player Adam "Pac Man" Jones.
Pac Man: Going somewhere, Guardian?
Guardian: As a matter of fact, I was going to go see your new boss of the drug kingpin you are a part of.
Pac Man: What? You were going to pay him?
Guardian: No. I was going to get him arrested.
Pac Man: You owe me. Since I gave away that money away at that bar a couple of months ago, I have needed you as a fan to give me that money. If you give me the money now, I will forget I saw you here and won't have the bounties come after you.
Guardian: I don't have it with me.
Pac Man: I'm through with you, and so are those bounties. Drugba's got no time for smugglers.
Guardian: Even I get boarded sometimes.
(Guardian reaches for his gun under the table)
Pac Man: You tell that to Drugba. He may only come get your ship.
Guardian: Over my dead body.
Pac Man: That's the idea. I have been looking to take you out for sometime now for avoiding to help me.
Guardian: I bet you have.
(Pac Man fires his gun at Guardian, but hits the wall instead)
(Guardian, in the smoke-filled room, blasts his gun at Pac Man taking him out)
(Guardian is leaving the bar and leaves coins for the bartender)
Guardian: Sorry for the mess.

Scene: Thumb Down Star Control Room
Captain Blogsniper and Darth Troller have agreed to use a different form of persuasion on the Princess. They want to show the Princess the power of the Thumb Down Star.

Scene: Mo's Tavern Alleyway
Guardian runs into Drugba outside the bar. He says that he is going to get him arrested, but then Drugba threatens him because he has put a bounty on his head. He demands the money, and says that the bounties will take him out if he doesn't. Guardian says he will have the money to him after his latest mission is over. In the meantime, Freak was able to sell the blogspeeder to afford the trip to Replydaron.

Scene: Inside the Millenium BlogFighter
Frag, Freak, and the two droids make their way onto the ship as Lewbacca and Guardian join them. The Trollship Troopers that were investigating the scene at Mo's Tavern have located the ship. They are blasting shots at it while Guardian is getting the ship off the ground. The ship finally takes off. The ship has two more Trollship Air Fighters going after them. They happen to cause slight damage to the ship as Guardian and Lewbacca are preparing the ship to reach top speed. Finally, they reach top speed, and lose the trailing ships in the process.

Scene: Thumb Down Star Control Room
Captain Blogsniper and Darth Troller are still in the room. Two Trollship Troopers bring in Princess Goddess in an attempt to make her talk. After refusing at first, she gives away the Alliance base by naming another planet. Captain Blogsniper and Darth Troller then plan on destroying the planet of Replydaron, where she lived. The TDS has thumbed down the entire planet of Replydaron which contained some of the best blog sites on the planet. The planet is now destroyed with no blog posts or bloggers. It is more or less space dust now.

Scene: Inside the Millenium BlogFighter
Freak is beginning his CI(Creatively Insane) training on the ship while a suddenly stricken Frag sits down. Frag realizes that something terrible has happened. Guardian informs everyone that they have outrun the two Trollship Air Fighters. They discover that Replydaron no longer exists as astreroids are coming at the ship. Then a Trollship Air Fighter is found as Guardian decides to chase it down. Upon doing so, they discover the powerful station known as the Thumb Down Star. The Millenium BlogFighter is caught in the TDS forcefield and is being brought into the main port. As they are being brought in, Darth Troller and Captain Blogsniper order the ship to be checked as they originally found no one aboard. The crew was hiding in the corridors of the ship that Guardian uses for smuggling. After a Trollship Trooper is told that the ship is his, Guardian tricks him telling him and another trooper that they need help. After gunfire is heard, two Trollship Troopers are leaving the post. The Trollship Troopers reveal themselves as Guardian and Freak.

Scene: Thumb Down Star Command Office
Freak, Guardian, and the two droids are in the command office. Frag leaves on his own, and tells them to stay behind. R2 finds out where the Princess is being held and that she is going to be executed. Both Freak and Guardian have Trollship disguises on as they have Lewbacca bound. They leave as the two robots stay in the room to find out the plans of the Thumb Down Star. Trying not to look suspicious in the trooper attire, Freak and Guardian enter an elevator with Lewbacca. Frag is heading down the main hallway as no one seems to notice him.

Scene: Main Hallway
Guardian and Freak enounter problems. Guardian tells Freak to go to the cell where the Princess is being held. Guardian is now dealing with heavy fire as they are being attacked by Trollship Troopers. Freak then locates the Princess in her holding cell and informs her very quickly on what is going on and that Frag is aboard.

Scene: TDS Conference Room
Captain Blogsniper and Darth Troller are in the room. Troller senses that Frag Kenobi is aboard the ship. Captain Blogsniper says that the CI knights are all extinct. However, Troller says that that Frag is aboard, and is wanting to confront him. Troller says he is waiting for him.

Scene: TDS Hallway
Freak, Princess Goddess, Guardian, and Lewbacca have met in the hallway as heavy fire takes place. Freak is frantically calling 3Santinio in the command office to give them outlet for escape. Then the Princess takes a gun revealing a chute for their escape. All of them jump in the chute avoiding the troopers.

Scene: TDS Garage Room
Freak, Princess Goddess, Guardian, and Lewbacca are in the room trying to find a way out. A creature grabs Freak, and pulls him under the rubble. Freak struggles to get free from the creature until the walls of the room begin closing in. All four use poles to try to keep the walls from closing in, but they simply snap in half. Freak then is trying to get a hold of 3Santinio. However, 3Santinio and R2 are not in the control room after Trollship Troopers are in their investigating. The two robots tell the troopers that the escapees are down the hall. Freak finally is able to get the two robots to stop the walls as they are tightly closing in.

Scene: TDS Unused Hallway
Freak and Princess Goddess get seperated from Guardian and Lewbacca. They both have several Trollship Troopers after them down the hallways. Freak and Princess Goddess have to go across an abandoned bridge to escape them. Meanwhile, Guardian and Lewbacca are under heavy fire now as well as troopers tried to trap them by closing doors in front of them. Freak is not happy because he needs Guardian alive to escape the station.

Scene: TDS Power Trench
Frag Kenobi is able to get into the power trench. He is able to turn the power off that will allow the Millenium BlogFighter to escape the station. He uses the power of the CI to distract the troopers that are in the same room as him.

Scene: Hallway heading to the Main Bay
Frag walks down the Main Bay, and sees Darth Troller at the end of it. Both open up their life sabers as they prepare for battle.
Darth Troller: I've been waiting for you, Fragnoli. We meet at last.
(They both begin to circle one another)
Troller: When we last met, I was but the learner. Now I am the master.
Frag: Only a master of evil, Troller.
(Both warriors are standing still waiting for the right moment to strike)
Troller: You should not have come back.
(Frag makes a lunge at Troller as they begin fighting)
Troller: Your powers are weak.

Scene: TDS Hallway
Freak, Princess, Guardian, and Lewbacca have met in the hallway again. They are fighting off troopers until they notice the fight between Frag and Troller as they are trying to make their way to the ship to escape.
Freak: Look!
(As they are watching the battle, the troopers are closing in on them)
Guardian: Here's our chance! Go!
(Frag realizes that he is trapped as troopers are closing in)
(Frag happens to recover from the distraction of that)
(Frag then notices Freak and lifts his saber up towards the air)
(Troller cuts Frag in half with the saber, but his body is not in the remains where his clothes are)
(Freak sees Frag cut and half)
Freak: No!
(Trollship Troopers begin firing at the crew again)
(The crew makes their way to the Millenium BlogFighter)
Guardian(to Freak): Come on!
Goddess: Come on! It's too late!
Guardian: Blast the door, kid!
(Freak blasts a door in front of the troopers and three of them made it through)
(Guardian and Goddess are firing weapons at them)
Frag's Voice: Run, Freak! Run!
(Freak is trying to figure out where the voice came from)
(The crew makes it to the ship)

Scene: Millenium BlogFighter cockpit
The ship is taking off as they encounter Trollship Air Fighters coming at it. The ship suffers from heavy fire, but does manage to fend off the Air Fighters.

Scene: TDS Control Room
Darth Troller enters the room as Captain Blogsniper is watching the big screen.
Blogsniper: Are they away?
Troller: They just made the jump to cyberspace.
Blogsniper: You're sure the homing device is operational? I'm taking an awful big risk here, Troller. This had better work.

Scene: Millenium BlogFighter cockpit
The crew is celebrating with being able to escape the TDS. However, the Princess says that they let them go. Meanwhile, Guardian and Princess are in somewhat of a disgreement.
Goddess: At least the info that R2 has intact.
Guardian: What is so important about that? What's he carrying?
Goddess: Important readouts of the TDS. I hope we can find a weakness in the data. This isn't over yet!
Guardian: It is for me, sister! I ain't in this for your revolution, and I'm not in it for you, Princess. I'm in it for the money. I expect to be well-paid.
Goddess: You needn't worry about money. If money is what you want, then you will receive it!
(Goddess turns towards Freak in disgust)
Goddess: Your friend is quite the mercenary. I wonder if he cares about anything..or anyone?
Freak: I care!
(Freak looks at Guardian as the Princess leaves the room)
Freak: So what do you think of her?
Guardian: I'm trying not to, kid!
Freak(under his breath): Good!
Guardian: She's got alot of spirit, and it shows in her blogs. What do you think? Can a guy like me and her....
Freak: No!

Scene: Members Alliance Blogpost Base on the Tagvin planet
The crew is greeted by the rest of the Members Alliance. Goddess believes that the ship will be tracked to the base they are at, so she urgently wants to find a weak spot in the TDS.

Scene: Space
The TDS is approaching the Tagvin planet where the Members Alliance Base is at.

Scene: Members Alliance Blogpost War Room
Discussions are being made about the attack on the TDS. Lanzona is preparing the screen and discussing the attack.
Lanzona: The battle station is heavily armored, and has greater power than half a star fleet. It's defenses are designed around a large-scale assault. A small fighter should be able to penetrate the outer defense. An analysis of the station reveals that a small fighter can go in because the TDS doesn't consider them threats. The approach won't be easy, but it is very possible. A precise hit will start a chain reaction and could destroy the station.
(Freak is sitting next to Enova Wedge)
Enova: That's impossible.
Freak: No, it is not.
Lazona: Man your ships!

Scene: TDS
Darth Troller and Captain Blogsniper are in the room.
Troller: This day will long be remembered. Frag is gone, and it will soon see the end of the Members Alliance.

Scene: Members Alliance Hangar
Freak and the rest of the fighters are getting ready to fly out. Freak then notices that Guardian is ignoring requests to get ready to go.
Freak: So you are taking the money and leaving then?
Guardian: That's right, yeah! I have debts to pay off.
Freak(angrily): Take a look around! You know what's about to happen! You're turning your back on the fighters!
Guardian: What's a good reward if you can't use it?! Besides, attacking the TDS is suicide!
Freak: All right. Take care of yourself. That's what you are good at.
Guardian: Freak. May the CI be with you!
(Goddess then sees Freak upset)
Goddess: What is wrong?
Freak: It's Guardian.
Goddess: He has to choose his own path. No one can for him.
Freak: I wish Frag was here.
(Goddess then hugs Freak and walks away)
(Freak then notices a familar face)
Freak: Madman?!
Madman: Freak! How did you get here?! Are you going with us?
Freak: Yes, I will be up there. Boy, do I have stories to tell you!
Madman: Tell those stories when you get back here.
Freak: I told you I would make it one day!
Madman: You did. This is going to be like old times!
(The ships depart)
Frag's voice: The CI will be with you.

Scene: Space
All fighters have reported in. They have all seen the TDS now.
Enova: Look at the size of that thing!
Madman: Accelerate to attack speed!
(The approach the TDS as they are attempting to draw fire)
Madman: I am going in to draw their fire!
(All the sudden, Trollship Air Fighters put the Members Alliance ships under heavy fire)
Enova: Heavy fire, boss!
Madman: I see it. Stay low.
(Freak goes in to towards the trench, but realizes that he has to pull his ship up before it goes under heavy fire)

Scene: TDS Interior
Darth Troller: We have to destroy them ship by ship. Get my ship ready!
(Troller's ship is ready as he and his wingmen are leaving)

Scene: Space outside the TDS
Madman is being persued by a Trollship Fighter as Freak helps to destroy it. Troller's ship is off and running as he and his wingmen are outside the TDS now.
Enova: Watch your back, Freak! A fighter is on you!
(Freak's ship gets hit, but not much damage takes place)
(Several ships on both sides are destroyed as the Members Alliance makes their way to the trench)

Scene: TDS Conference Room
Captain Blogsniper and others are in the room standing by.
Officer: Should we have an evacuation ship ready?
Captain Blogsniper: Evacuate? In a moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances!

Scene: Space outside the TDS
Several attempts are made to send fire into the exhaust port of the TDS, but have failed. Now the remaining Members Alliance ships are trying to destroy the station. But, the TDS has a backup plan, and have located the Members Alliance Base.

Scene: Thumb Down Star - Control Room
(A Captain watches the target screen of the Member Alliance Base)
TDS Intercom: Members Base, thirty seconds and closing.
(Freak is being pursued by three fighters with Darth Troller's ship in the middle)

Scene shifts back and forth from Darth Troller's cockpit and Blogtalker's cockpit.
Darth Troller: I'm on the leader.
(Blogtalker's ship is now in the trench of the Thumb Down Star)

Scene: Member Alliance Blogpost Base
(Princess Goddess is now determined that Blogtalker will succeed after constant worrying)
3Santinio: Hang on out there, R2!

Scene goes back and forth on Troller and Blogtalker's cockpits.
(Blogtalker is concentrating on his tracking device)
(Three TDS fighters are now following Freak in the trench with Troller in the middle)
(Troller has grabbed the control stick and is ready to destroy Freak Blogtalker)
(Blogtalker is adjusting his lense on the tracking device while proceeding down the trench)
(Blogtalker is lining up his target until he hears a familar voice)
Frag Kenobi's voice: Use the CI, Freak.
(Troller and his two ships are closing in)
(Blogtalker is starting to look back in his tracking device before having second thoughts)
Frag Kenobi's voice: Let go, Freak.
(Freak now has a determined look on his face as he starts to mumble Frag's training to himself)
(Freak's ship is continuing through the trench)
(Troller is having a tough time tracking Freak on his screen)
Darth Troller: The CI is strong with this one!
(Troller continues to follow Freak's ship as he tries to lock on him)
(Freak then goes to look at his tracking device, before hearing Frag's voice)
Frag: Trust me, Freak.
(Freak presses the button, and moves his tracking device away)

Scene: Members Alliance Blogpost Base
(Princess Goddess and the others are watching the projection screen)
Members Base Voice: His computer is off. Freak, you switched off your targeting computer. What's wrong?
Freak(Over the speaker): Nothing. I'm alright.

Scene: Thumb Down Star trench
(Freak looks at the TDS surface, and R2 turns his head side to side in anticipation)
(Troller and his two ships continue to follow Freak down the trench)
(Troller maneuvers his ship then presses the button to fire at Freak's ship)
(A large laserfire engulfs R2 and he makes a high-pitched sound)
(Freak looks over his shoulder at R2 in the back of his ship)
Freak: I have lost R2!

Scene: Members Alliance Blogpost Base
(Princess Goddess and 3Santinio are staring intently at the projection screen)
Members Alliance Blogpost Intercom: The Thumb Down Star has cleared the base. The Thumb Down Star has cleared the base.

Scene: Thumb Down Star Control Room
(Captain Blogsniper stares at the projection screen)
TDS Intercom: Members Alliance Base, in range.
Captain Blogsniper: You may thumb down the Members Alliance base when ready.
TDS Intercom: Commence Primary Ignition.
(A TDS officer reaches up to push the button)
(Green-lighted button turns red)

Scene: Thumb Down Star trench
(Troller and his two ships continue pursuit of Freak's ship never breaking formation)
(Freak looks down at the exhaust port)
(Troller adjusts his tracking screen and control stick)
(Freak's ship barrels down the trench as Troller takes aim at his ship)
Darth Troller: I have you now!
(Troller pushes the fire button)
(The three ships move in on Freak's ship as Troller releases laserfire)
(As laserfire is being fired at Freak's ship, one of Troller's wingman's ship is destroyed)
(The two remaining ships move on)
(Freak looks around wondering who destroyed the wingman ship)
(Troller is taken by surprise as he looks out from his ship)
Darth Troller: What?!
(Troller's other wingman looks around to locate the unknown attacker)

Scene: Inside the Millennium BlogFighter
(Guardian Solo and Lewbacca are grinning ear to ear)
Guardian: Yahoo!

Scene: Thumb Down Star trench
(The Millennium BlogFighter heads right after the two remaining TDS ships)
(The other wingman spots the Millennium Blogger coming after them and warns Darth Troller)
Wingman: Look out!
(Wingman is taken by surprise as he collides with Darth Troller's ship)
(Wingman's ship crashes into the trench wall, while Troller's ship suffers a damaged wing as he spins out of the trench)
(Troller's ship spins out of control and into space)
(Guardian's ship moves in on the trench)
(Guardian, smiling, speaks to Freak over the intercom)
Guardian: You're all clear, kid!

Scene: Members Alliance Blogpost Base
(Princess Goddess, 3Santinio, and others listen in on Guardian's transmission)
Guardian(Over the intercom): Now let's blow this thing and go home!

Scene: Thumb Down Star trench
(Freak looks up and smiles. He concentrates on his target and fires laser torpedoes at the exhaust port)
(Freak's torpedoes shoot towards the target, but disappear)
(The shots do find their mark and have gone into the exhaust port and are heading for the main reactor)
(Freak is now relieved that his shots found their mark)

Scene: TDS Control Room
(A TDS soldier pulls the lever down to thumb down the entire Members Alliance Base)
Intercom voice: Stand by to fire thumbs down at the entire Member Alliance Base.
(Several TDS soldiers are now pressing all buttons to fire at the Members Alliance Base)
Intercom voice: Standing by.
(A rumble of explosions are now taking place on the TDS)
(The TDS is now all alone against a blanket of stars)
(Members Alliance ships race out of sight)
(The TDS bursts into a supernova)
Guardian: Great shot, kid! That was one in a million!
(Freak is now relaxed, and his eyes are closed)
Frag's voice: Remember, the CI will be with you...always.
(The Members Alliance ships race back to their base)

Scene: Members Alliance Blogpost Base
(Freak climbs out of the ship and is greeted by his ground crew)
Princess Goddess: Freak! Freak! Freak!
(Goddess hugs Freak)
Guardian(laughing): Hey! Hey!
Freak(laughing): I knew you'd come back! I just knew it!
Guardian: Well, I wasn't gonna let you get all the credit and take all the reward.
Goddess: I knew there was more to you than money!
(Freak looks towards the ship)
Freak: Oh no!
(A fried R2 is carried off the back of Freak's ship)
3Santinio: Oh, my! R2! Can you hear me? Say something! (to mechanic) You can repair him, right?
Technician: We'll get to work on him right away.
3Santinio: You must repair him! I will donate any of the circuits or gears if need be.
Freak: He'll be all right.

Scene: Members Alliance Blogpost Main Assembly Room
Freak, Guardian, and Lewbacca are walking in with hundreds of soldiers looking on)
(Freak, Guardian, Lewbacca are greeted with medals from Princess Goddess)
(They all face towards the audience as they bow in front of them)
(Lewbacca and R2 are happy)

Scene dissolves into space as credits are appearing.

Credits:

Written and directed by David Funk
Produced by BSFE Productions and Basic Bloganomics in conjuction with Lucas Films

Cast:
Paul H(wwefreak).........Freak Blogtalker
guardian of the galaxy..........Guardian Solo
Footballgoddesstoo/ferociousjane.........Princess Goddess
TheGreatSantini........voice of 3Santinio
fragnoli........Frag Kenobi
Lew Troop........Lewbacca
T&R Guy.........voice of Darth Troller
blogsniper.......Captain Blogsniper
enova.......Enova Wedge
sde642(MadMan).......Madman

Special guest appearances:
Adam "Pac Man" Jones as himself
Lanz1 as Lanzona

Make up Supervisor.......texasadlerfan
Location manager.......soadrules1313
Visual and Sound Effects.......morrisseyweb
Planet Design.......Larsen B
Animators.......mojomike & Lester's Legends
Catering and Food Services........dking97

Scene and Star Wars movie info provided by: Star Wars Scene by Scene. This post is a dedication to the original Star Wars that was released into theaters in May as part of celebrating the release of the original. According to my parents, this was the first movie that they took me to see when I was two years old at the time.

~(C) Copyright 2007. Property of BSFE Productions and Basic Bloganomics. All rights reserved. Any publication or retransmission without the express written consent of the BSF Network and its affiliates, is strictly prohibited.

Posted in: blog, Blog Wars, blogger, blogs, humor, Parody, Star Wars

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